Superpower dogs have
14. Invisibath — The power to disappear at the first sound of
bath water
13. ViseHump — The leg hump grip of steel
12. AquaField — Immunity to bucket of cold water when
copulating in driveway
11. Skeetvision– The ability to shoot laser beams from your
eyes to blast that damn Frisbee out of the sky
10. SuperBladder — Loaded with Toxi-Urine — One lift of the
leg and this town is mine!
9. SquirrelFreeze
8. AnalTelepathy/ButtSniffery — Two powers which when
combined allow one to smell another dog’s butt without
actually having to get up and move around.
7. John-O-Matic — Turns any toilet bowl into a punch bowl by
sheer force of will.
6. ChuckSpeed — Ability to catch that friggin’ Wagon Train.
5. Anti-Psych-Out — Immunity to all that “fake throw”
nonsense.
4. VacuCalm — Utter self-control whenever the vacuum cleaner
is turned on.
3. GucciTract — An invincible digestive system that sustains
itself entirely on designer shoes.
2. King Fido’s Touch — Everything you touch turns into crap
And the #1 Super Power Most Coveted by Dogs…
1. DoberMorph — Ability to change into a Doberman anytime
someone rolls up a newspaper.
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