Cubist poodle
September 26th, 2009
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Categories: Funny Pictures
Archive
Archive for September, 2009
When good dogs go and crossbreed
September 26th, 2009
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Pointer + Setter = Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet
Kerry Blue Terrier + Skye Terrier = Blue Skye, a dog for visionaries
Great Pyrenees + Dachshund = Pyradachs, a puzzling breed
Pekingnese + Lhasa Apso = Peekasso, an abstract dog
Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel = Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle
Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever = Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists
Newfoundland + Basset Hound = Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors
Terrier + Bulldog = Terribull, a dog prone to awful mistakes
Bloodhound + Labrador = Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly
Malamute + Pointer = Moot Point, owned by….oh, well, it doesn’t matter anyway
Collie + Malamute = Commute, a dog that travels to work
Deerhound + Terrier = Derriere, a dog that’s true to the end
Cocker Spaniel + Rottweiller = Cockrot, the perfect puppy for that philandering ex-husband
Bull Terrier + Shitzu = Bullshitz, a gregarious but unreliable breed
Categories: Jokes/Humor
Nice doggie
September 24th, 2009
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One fall day Bill was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking in single file.
Intrigued, Bill went up to the man following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse. “My wife,” the man replied. “I’m sorry,” said Bill. “What happened to her?” “My dog bit her and she died.” Bill then asked the man who was in the second hearse. The man replied, “My mother-in-law. My dog bit her and she died as well.”
Bill thought about this for a while. He finally asked the man, “Can I borrow your dog?”
To which the man replied, “Get in line.”
Categories: Jokes/Humor
The talking dog
September 23rd, 2009
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Broder walks into a bar with a dog on a leash. “Bartender,” he says, “I’ll have a scotch on the rocks, and a whiskey sour for my dog.”
“I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t allow dogs in here.”
“Just a minute,” the dog says. “I’m not used to being treated this way. Maybe you’ve never seen a talking dog.”
“Don’t give me no talking dog, mister,” the bartender tells Broder. “You’re not the first ventriloquist we’ve had in here.”
“Wait, you’ve got it all wrong,” says Broder. “I’ll go across the street to get a newspaper, and I’ll leave the dog here. Then you’ll see.”
When Broder is gone, the dog says, “Hey, pal, what happened to my whiskey sour?”
The bartender is astonished. “Sure, right away. It’s on the house. I can’t believe this. Say, would you do me a favor? Here’s ten bucks. My wife works in the restaurant next door. Would you mind going in and ordering a coffee to go? This will make her day, and you can keep the change.”
“Fine,” says the dog, who takes the money and leaves. A moment later, Broder returns to the bar. “Hey, where’s Oliver?”
“He *can* talk,” says the bartender. “I gave him ten bucks to surprise my wife. Here, I’ll go with you.”
As they leave the bar, they see Oliver in an alley, having his way with an attractive French poodle.
“Oliver, I can’t believe it,” says Broder. “You’ve never done this before.”
“Hey,” says the dog, “I’ve never had money before.”
Categories: Jokes/Humor
10 reasons Martha Steward is stalking your dog
September 14th, 2009
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10. There’s potpourri hanging from his/her collar.
9. The dog’s nails have been cut with pinking shears.
8. The dog toys are all stored in McCoy crocks.
7. The pooper scooper has been decorated with raffia.
6. That telltale lemon slice in the new silver water bowl.
5. You find liver and whole wheat dog treats stamped out with
copper cookie cutters and decorated with royal icing using a
#2 rosette tip.
4. Dog hair has been collected and put into wire baskets for nesting
material for the birds.
3. A seasonally appropriate grapevine wreath adorns the front
of your dog’s crate.
2. Your dog goes outside naked and comes in wearing a thyme
colored virgin wool hand knitted sweater with matching boots.
AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY YOU KNOW THAT MARTHA STEWART IS STALKING YOUR DOG IS…
1. The dog droppings in your backyard have been sculpted into swans.
Categories: Jokes/Humor