Panda dog
October 25th, 2009
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This dog looks more like a panda than a dog.
Categories: Funny Pictures
Archive
Archive for October, 2009
A dog named Sex
October 15th, 2009
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Everybody who has a dog calls him “Rover” or “Roy.” I call mine “Sex.” He’s a great pal but he has caused me a great deal of embarrassment.
When I went to the city hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like a license for Sex. He said, “I’d like one too.” Then I said, “But this is a dog.” He said he didn’t care what she looked like. Then I said, “You don’t understand, I’ve had Sex since I was 9 years old.” He winked and said, “You must have been quite a kid.”
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for sex.
He said, “You don’t need a special room. As long as you pay your bill we don’t care what you do.” I said, “Look, you don’t understand, Sex keeps me awake at night.” The clerk said, “Funny–I have the same problem.”
One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there, looking disappointed. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold tickets. “But you don’t understand,” I said, “I had hoped to have Sex on TV.” He said, “Now that cable is all over the place it’s no big deal anymore.”
When my wife and I seperated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, “Your Honor, I had sex before I was married.” The judge said, “The courtroom isn’t a confessional. Stick to the case, please.” Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said, “Me, too.”
Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, “What are you doing in this alley at 4 o’clock in the morning?” I told him that I was looking for Sex.
Categories: Jokes/Humor
Dog show in heaven
October 13th, 2009
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It was a slow day in heaven so God phoned Satan to see what was going on.
“It’s slow here too,” says Satan.
“Well,” God said, ” I think a dog show might be fun. Let’s put on a dog show.”
“Sounds good,” says Satan, “But why are you calling me? You’ve got all the dogs up there.”
“I know,” answered God, “But, you’ve got all the judges down there!”
Categories: Jokes/Humor
Whose dog is it
October 8th, 2009
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There was a hound dog laying in the yard and an old geezer in overalls was sitting on the porch. ”Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite?” a tourist asked. The old man looked up over his newspaper and replied, ”Nope.”
As soon as the tourist stepped out of his car, the dog began snarling and growling, and then attacked both his arms and legs. As the tourist flailed around in the dust, he yelled, ”I thought you said your dog didn’t bite!” The old man muttered, ”Ain’t my dog.”
Categories: Jokes/Humor
Puppy vs robot
October 2nd, 2009
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Puppy got scared of robot in the house.
Categories: Videos
